We Failed Him
by Thatonemoose
Summary: The Paladins thought Lance was fine, you know his usual goofball lover boy self. But oh how wrong they were. Can they save him? or will they be too late. Huge TW please be careful /includes-Self Harm, Attemped Suicide/
1. Chapter 1

We Failed Him

By thatonemoose

The paladins just finished a mission and were extremely tired but still had to go through the debriefing. Hunk, pidge, Keith and even shiro and the alteans looked very very tired, but not lance. Lance looked anxious and jumpy like he was worried. He hadn't done well this mission and really screwed up and he seemed to be preparing himself for the lectures and ruthless jokes about to come his way.

"Lance?" a patient but tired voice said. Lance jumped "Yes Sir?" he squealed out. He could already hear the sniggers from Keith and Pidge and feel the sympathetic looks from Coran and Hunk. "Lance you didn't do well to" Shiro started but what cut off "Yeah maybe you should stop fucking around and actually be useful for once" Keith spat out scornfully. Pidge and Allura both seemed to agree. " Sorry sir, I-I'll try better next time'' Lance said weakly. Shiro sighed deeply "Just don't do it again, Everyone you're dismissed".

Lance immediately jumped out of his chair almost knocking it down and quickly stalked down the hallway. Shiro sighed even heavier as he watched him go.

A few hours later Lance was about to go into the lobby room and catch up with everyone but before he was about to walk in something stopped him.

"He needs to get his act together! We don't need a child on the team!" Lance immediately registered that as Keith.

"Keith stop it" Lance sighed quietly, at least he could count on Shiro.

"But Shiro Keith is right, All Lance does is joke around, He needs to as Keith has said grow up" Allura "helpfully" chimed in.

"And you've even talked about how he needs to stop being a child on the battlefield" Keith almost yelled.

"Keith I-" No shiro face it! All lance is a goofball! He's gonna get himself killed one day even worse he might get someone important hurt!" Keith yelled.

Lance didn't bother hearing the rest, he just turned around and quietly walked away not even trying to interfere with their squabbling.

Lance started walked to his room, his features hard and cold. He walked past Hunk who greeted him but he just kept going, suddenly something grabbed his shoulder and turned him around it was Hunk.

"Dude are you alright?, You seem out of it" Hunk said worry evident in his voice. Lance quickly put up a smile hoping it looked normal and started speaking. "I'm fine buddy just thinking about the fight today". "Oh well um would you like to help me make space cookies? I'm making your favorite" Hunk said secretly trying to get his friend open up. "Nah man I'm gonna go take a nap, that fight really took it outta me. Catch you later?" Lance said fake yawning hoping to move the conversation along. "Oh yeah um sure catch you later" as soon as the words left his mouth Lance was already turned around and quickly fading into the distance. Hunk was left standing in the hall alone worrying about his friend.

Lance finally arrived at his bedroom door with no further incidents. He walked in and went into the bathroom attached to his room. He was glad he didn't have to go to the public bathrooms further down the halls, he didn't want to dirty those bathrooms as he had this one. He opened the cabinet under the altean equivalent of a sink and pulled out a shaving razor. He then took the army swiss knife out of his back pocket, quietly thanking his mother for forcing him to be in boy scouts. He then with his little swiss knife managed to get the blades out of the razor without breaking them. Lance knew that he shouldn't be doing what he's about to do for god's sake it's been four years, he couldn't do this to mamma. But mama wouldn't know about this, maybe mama thought he was already dead, they don't know what the garrison told their parents, they could've said he offed himself and mama would have believed them. So why not die here in space? He wasn't useful far from it actually, they could easily replace him. Hell they're probably going to, he's just a placeholder for someone better. So why not end it now? Because he was a coward a useless fucking coward. Those words quickly became a mantra in Lance's head, he put the blade to his forearm the voices started yelling your useless, you'll never be good enough, you're just a placeholder, a goofball, a flirt useless n-no I-I'm no- useless useless USELESS!. Before Lance knew it his forearm was covered in cuts, his fresh blood mingling with his tears. Suddenly there was a knock at his front door. "Y-yeah?'' he stuttered. "It's time for dinner! You coming?" a small but annoyed voice said. "Uh um I'm not that hungry, I'll get some food later" lance lied. "Okay, hey um Lance are you? You know what forget it, see you later". After he heard the footsteps slowly fade away he sighed, Lance was starving but he felt proud of himself. It would be a waste if a piece of shit like him ate food. He sighed once again and after cleaning up his mess, he headed down to the training room.

Three weeks have passed and Lance had picked up a new routine. Wake up, skip breakfast train instead, team training, eat half a bowl of food goo for lunch, train, stay in his room and cut for down time, skip dinner, cut, train, go to sleep. It was perfect for everyone it seemed, he stopped talking as much and everyone seemed more relaxed, happy even. Lance was getting stronger, His muscles were more defined but he faced seemed skinner and his eyes were more pronounced because of the bags under his eyes. In short he looked terrible but the one most defining thing about him that changed? His smile it was almost completely gone expect for diplomatic missions and when he was around others than then paladins.

No One had seemed to notice, hell it was like they forgot about him. But lance was okay with it or so he said to himself. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to fight and get back home he thought constantly. But what he didn't know was that Hunk and Coran noticed and were extremely worried almost terrified. It's not like lance stopped talking to everyone he just really only talked to respond to orders or other work things. Lance still helped out he did more cleaning, and he still helped Coran with the cryopods and Hunk with baking he just didn't talk while he helped. So Coran and Hunk brought their worries to shiro who immediately felt guilty about not noticing before and said he'll do something.

The next day Shiro proposed a team building exercise to the team a very mandatory one. They were to be using the mind-melding helmets and basically they would be sharing things about themselves to the group, it was just a simple bonding exercise. But this very "simple" exercise scared Lance shitless. What if they found out? What if they kicked him off the team for being weak, the horrible outcomes were endless. Lance did try to weasel himself out of this but his attempts were very futile. And so he suddenly found himself on the training room floor in a circle with the other paladins with weird crown looking things on their heads being told to share things. Hunk thought of cooking with his grandma, Pidge thought of playing videogames with her brother. Keith thought of the time he got his very first knife. Shiro thought of the day he met all of us and I thought of my family just my family and only my family not even me. Lance suddenly felt eyes staring at him some frustrated(Keith) some bored and wanting to get this over with(Pidge) and some worried?. But why were they worried that doesn't make sense. He's not doing anything wrong am I? Lance was pulled out of his worries by Shiro "Lance, your not sharing anything about yourself, it's okay to miss your family but we're trying to learn about you not them." Lance gulped hard "Face it Shiro all Lance is, is a family man. Hell I'm surprised he's not showing us of him "getting all the girls". Keith said sarcasm dripping from his last sentence. Pidge and Keith were laughing as Hunk sent him a sympathetic look. "Shiro Keith's right, All I think of is my family. I don't think there's much that you guys don't already know about me". "Yeah like how he's just a goofball and a "Ladies man" Pidge said sent her and Keith back into laughing fits. All Lance did was chuckle nervously. "Pidge, Keith, stop being rude. All of you can go the training is done for today" everyone started to get ready to leave " But we will be doing this tomorrow and you must share". You could hear collective groans from Keith and Pidge as they walked off. Lance got his crown-thingy off and was just about to walk out the door when a shoulder stopped him. Lance was startled to say the least but sigh with relief as it was only shiro." Hey Lance buddy are you alright? You haven't been yourself lately" oh shit Lance was fucked. "I'm fine Shiro" Lance said as he plastered on a fake smile. " You sure?" "Yeah yeah Shiro I'm fine, but um I'm tired do you mind I pop smoke?" "oh uh yeah sure Lance, but um before you go. You know you can talk to about anything right?" shiro asked concerned. "Oh yeah definitely Shiro I know" but you won't do it the voice whispered. "I'm gonna go now, uh bye" Lance quickly ran out hoping to get to his room as fast as he could.

When Lance arrived he immediately sat down at the desk in his room. He pulled out a small leather notebook, he had it when they came here from earth. He opened it up and on the first page found the suicide note he was going to use when they were back on earth, but he ripped those pages out and tossed them into his garbage can and began writing a new one. By the time he was done writing the note it was almost dinner so he left it on the desk in all it's tearstained and went into his bathroom. Lance started filling up his bathtub, after it was full enough to his content he undressed all the way to his boxers and grabbed the blade from his bathroom counter and sat down into the water tears still falling down his face. He was just about to cut when he heard a knock at his front door. Lance panicked and started cutting eventually becoming deeper. He then heard a knock at his bathroom door(thank god it was locked) but at this point Lance had several deep cuts that were turning the water a slight twinge of orange. When his bathroom was busted open the last thing lance thought was I've finally made my last mistake" And then he blacked out

Tbc….


	2. Chapter 2

/TW/ be careful my dumplings

Chapter Two - We Failed Him

To say the team was horrified was a understatment. they were now sitting surrounding Lance's cryo-pod, waiting for Shiro to tell them what happened. They were

getting ready for dinner and Shiro was given the job to go get Lance but what the paladins didn't expect was to be sitting down at the table when a scared Shiro ran into

the room screaming about how Lance needed a cryo-pod. Once Coran had set up the pod Shiro nearly threw him into it, perfect timing too as Lance's breaths were

getting more spaced out and uneven. But now came the long wait for Lance to get out. And Allura still not knowing what Lance had done set off a bomb with one

question to Shiro.

"What did Lance do this time Shiro? Was he goofing off again?" Allura asked not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice, Pidge and Keith both grumbled their

agreements with Allura's question. Shiro stood up anger in his eyes and no-one could have even dreamed of what his what about to say next.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SAY THAT AS IF YOU HAVEN'T HURT HIM ENOUGH YOU BITCH!".

Allura stood there mouth opened wide shellshocked from what the usaully calm leader just said.

"Woah Shiro calm down, She just asked a question. There's nothing wrong with that." Kieth said worried about his fostered brother.

"OH IS IT! I'M SORRY, I JUST YOU KNOW THINK SHE SHOULD STOP BLAMING SHIT ON LANCE! ALL OF US SHOULD FUCKING STOP SHITTING ON

LANCE, He-he doesn't deserve that, he's through enough allura, fucking enough!". Shiro fell to the floor sobbing. Pidge was just about to say something when Keith

quickly clapped his hand over her mouth. Hunk walked over to Shiro encasing him into a full on bear hug asking him what had happened. Shiro soon collected himself

and explained what had happened.

"When I went to go find him for dinner my first stop was his room and and um". "take your time buddy take your time" Hunk calmly said. Shiro contuined.

"His front door was un-unlocked and I thought that was weird and so I went in and their was a note on his desk and I-I saw the first few words an-and it was a sui-sui"

"A suicide note" Hunk said much too coldy and much too calmly for what this meant. A hush went over the room and Shiro went on.

"His ba-bathroom door was locked and I-I was scared so I banged and banged on it and I-I broke it." Shiro swallowed."And Lance was lying in the ba-bathtub and it

was full of water and his was falling in ex-expect the water was-was orange and lance had cut his wrist and it was really bad and-and-and." Hunk cut Shiro off."It's

alright buddy, you can stop".

The room was quiet expect for the quiet sounds of sniffling. Keith looked a mix between mad and heartbroken, Pidge was silently crying with a horrified expression on

her face, Allura was crying into Coran's shoulder who was just looking at the pod with a unreadable expression and Hunk was just there hugging Shiro and looking at

Lance's pod with scorn and guilt.

it felt like years untill Hunk cleared his throat and started speaking "I'll bring out the cots we'll sleep here tonight". Everyone nodded. After setting up Coran and Hunk

started talking in a corner away from the group. While the rest of the crew was around Lance's pod. Pidge started the converstation.

"H-how could he do this to us" she spat the words out like poison.

"He failed us" Keith said angerily.

"No, he didn't fail us" Allura said much to the others surprise.

"We failed him, we failed him so horribly". Shiro finished for her.

"Keith, Princess do you remeber when we had that converstation in the lounge a couple weeks ago?" Shiro started

"Oh my god" "He heard that" Allura said appaled at herself, fresh tears coming from her eyes.

"Coran can you bring me the lounge footage from a few weeks ago before Lance started distancing himself from the group?" Shiro asked his voice breaking.

Coran brought it up everyone hearing what Allura and Kieth said. Lance had heard the whole damn thing.

"I hurt him, I hurt him so bad!" Keith screamed.

"All three of us hurt him Keith, Allura and I take blame as well." Shiro said looking ashamed and distraught. Allura mumbled agreement.

Hunk sighed causing everyone to look at him. "He was like this before, hell even before the garrsion, I talked him out of jumping off our school building once". Hunk

said sadly.

"How did I not notice, at the garrsion?" Pidge said heartbroken.

"He was a good actor, even I thought he was getting better. I can't say I'm not dissapointed in him but I can't blame him. You guys reminded him of his family i guess".

Hunk said sounding even sadder.

"Isn't that a good thing? doesn't he love his family?" Keith said confused.

He loves his siblings, there a difference. But it isn't my place to tell you guys about his past. He'll tell you guys himself, I'll make sure of that. But now we have to wait

so let's get some rest, we'll contuine when he gets out." Hunk said tiredly. Everyone nodded and they began to get on their own respective cots but in the end they just

made a huge nest things out of blankets and pillows and cuddled together, even Coran and Allura joined. All of themm tried to ignore the horrible feeling in their guts as

they drifted off into restless sleep.

TBC...


	3. Chapter Three - Oh Shit

Notes * means he's thinking to himself* also if a word is underlined and in bold and italics ex- _ **he**_ it is not talking about anyone on the ship.

Chapter Three - Oh Shit

Lance woke up hearing the pod hiss open letting him fall out onto his face. He slowly got up groaning to himself before he started looking around, no-one was there. *Man I probably fucked up a mission again, but he couldn't think of any mission they could've been doing*. He raised his hand so he could scratch his head but he glimpsed at something on his wrist so he curiously brought it down and his eyes widen as he looked at the wide, deep, _scars_ that were etched into his wrist right where a cluster of veins were. He let out a sad dark chuckle.

"So I finally did it". Lance mumbled unknowingly out loud

"Yeah, you did'' Lance whipped his head to the door where the voice was coming from.

"H-hunk, I-I..um..I'm" Hunk started speaking cutting off his rambling.

"Why did you do that to me _again_ " Hunk's voice was filled with anger and heartbreak. Lance lowered his head."I-I'm sorry f-for being so" Lance gulped " so _**weak**_ " Lance's voice was filled with shame and self-loathing. Hunk sighed deeply and Lance visibly flinched at his friend's reaction.

"Lance come here" Hunk said moving a couple paces away from the door. Lance slowly stumbled his way over there and when he did Hunk raised his arm. *Lance tensed expecting him to hit him even he _knew_ Hunk would never do it because Hunk loved him but _**he**_ loved him too but _**he**_ hurt him because he always fucked things up and Hunk would probaly do the same and and an-*. Lance was cut off by Hunk full-on bear hugging him.

"Lance I don't know what I..wait no..what _we_ would do if we ever lost you. Lance we can't _ever_ lose someone as _important as you."_ Hunk said hot tears forming at the corners of his eyes. *And Lance tried to believe him he really did but he also knew that he was lying just like when _**he**_ lied about him being important and it's not like Lance helps the team he's just a placeholder he's absolutely worthless and he doesn't _deserve_ people as wonderful as Hunk and Coran and everyone else on the team and he really is more worthless than he thought because who can't even kill himself properly I mean seriously maybe he should do it again but since he fucked it up yet again there's no way the team is gonna let him anywhere near anything he could possibly use to hurt himself and now everybody knows and their gonna think he's weak and their gonna abandon him because they have always wanted to because all he is..is _utterly and completely worthless.*_

Lance knew he was mumbling but he didn't know it was out loud, thus when he looked up with the whole crew staring at him mortified he knew he was totally fucked.


	4. Chapter 4 - How did it get this bad?

*Notes* hey guys, just wanted you to know I'm not planning on ending this story anytime soon, so expect a lot more chapters. Thanks for the support and I'll try to update more often - Moose

Chapter Four - How did it get this bad?

The whole team was a mess understandably so, on of their teammates just attempted suicide. Everybody expect Hunk, Coran and obviously Lance was in the lounge. Shiro sitting on the middle of the couch leaning forward his elbows on his knees, Pidge had her back against his shoulder while Keith was on the other side of Shiro mirroring Pidge's actions, Allura sat on a different chair her posture completely rigid. All of them had a look of guilt upon their features. Hunk and Coran had them leave the med-bay as to not overwhelm Lance when he got out, they eventually did although hesitantly. Now they were left to their lonesome until Coran told them they could finally see Lance.

"I still feel like this is some shitty nightmare" Pidge muttered tiredly. The whole room seemed to agree.

"Hey guys, try not to be too hard on Lance alright" Shiro said worriedly he knew how ruthless Keith and Pidge could be.

"Black Paladin you will never have to say that again, I think we will all be more nicer towards our actions and words". Allura said her voice still shaky from their earlier cry fest.

"I can't believe he heard everything we said, every damn word and instead of being pissed at us as he should have been, he started thinking what was wrong with him as if he was the problem!" Keith angrily yelled. Shiro laid his back into the couch wrapping his arms around Pidge and Keith hugging him close to his sides with a soft squeeze.

"If you guys ever get to a point as low as Lance did please do not ever fucking hesitate to talk to me _ever_ this means you too Allura" Shiro said with great emphasis.

"Always" Pidge answered tears streaming down her face.

"Of course" Keith said nuzzling his face into Shiro's shoulder. Allura said nothing only nodded.

A few long minutes after their short conversation Coran came in saying Lance was out and they could come in. They came into the room standing side by side to see a sickly looking Lance with Hunk's arm around him. Hunk was crying his eyes opened wide in alarment. As the team situated themselves they heard Lance muttering he most likely thought he was saying it in his head but the last few words out of his mouth had them all horrified.

" _Utterly and completely worthless_ " Lance said these poisonous words like they were gospel completely true. And when he looked up looking at them with terrified, glassy eyes they knew that they weren't supposed to hear that. Everybody was stunned especially Lance, no one moved until Pidge walked over to Lance and a loud _slap_ resounded in the room making everyone more stunned. Pidge then grabbed Lance by the collar pulling him into a hug, her face nuzzled into his neck as she started talking in a low voice.

"Don't you ever fucking say that again, it's not true and you know it you fucking tree" Pidge said her voice cracking.

"It's good to see you too ya gremlin" Lance said as he pulled her to his chest as he stood up. Pidge still had her face in his neck but you could hear what sounded like muffled giggles. The room stood still until suddenly Lance's and Pidge's moment was broken by everyone group hugging the shit out of them, even Keith participated!. After a few long minutes the group dissipated from the hug although Pidge stayed on Lance like the Koala she was.

Lance pulled out of reality by the hug saw the long scar on his forearm and was instantly reminded of what happened. He gulped hard as Hunk took him to the lounge Pidge still in his arms as the team trailed behind. After what seemed like eternity they finally got there. Lance sat in a single arm chair that was in front of the couch while still holding Pidge. While the rest of the team sat on the couch not even trying to get Pidge off of Lance. Lance immediately started talking.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to get this bad, I-I'm really fucking sorry" Lance said this with so much guilt that it left a horrible taste in Keith's mouth. Keith thought that Lance shouldn't be sorry after all they were the ones who pushed him to the brink, pushed him to doing _that_. Hunk pulled out a small booklet, one which Lance immediately recognized.

"N-no no no Hunk please don't show them please don't please please" Lance said his sorrow filled words almost merging together.

"Lance, No one on this ship has read this yet, not even me. So I'm gonna give you a choice here. Tell us what was going through your head or we are going to read your note for answers". Hunk said coldly.

Lance gulped and then started to speak.

TBC….

It is perfectly fine to hate me at this point, I'll update as soon as possible so you guys don't have to suffer too much. Till next time - Moose


	5. Chapter 5

*IMPORTANT NOTICE* So guys I'm going on a trip and I will not have access to a computer. So what I will be doing is that I will try to update everyday until I have to leave. Hopefully I don't leave you guys hanging for two long. Thanks for all the support and now please enjoy.

Chapter Five -

"I-I just thought you guys would be better off without me".

That simple sentence held so much raw emotion. The words seemed to resound in the large silent room. Hunk wanted to vomit, Shiro was crying, Keith looked angry, Allura hid her face in the shoulder of her ever loyal advisor Coran, and Coran himself looked like his just wanted to hug away all the demons that tormented his paladian, All pidge did was try and bury herself further into her space-brother.

"Why you think that" Shiro desperately trying to keep his voice level.

"I well I-I mean isn't it true?". Lance said with hints of confusion as if Shiro had asked him something obvious. Before anyone had time to react Lance started again.

"I-I mean a-all I am is a placeholder, so might as well make sure you get a b-better paladin sooner. Right?" Lance said this with no hesitation as if it was a hard _true_ fact. The team was astonished, how oblivious were they? To let it get this bad and still not notice. Hunk sighed he knew what his friend meant.

"Lance I think it's time for you to get some rest, but first your gonna eat and shower. You can sleep in my room for now." Hunk said his maternal instincts activating.

"What? No way! Lance should keep talking!" Keith said angered on how they weren't going to push further, he needed answers and he wanted them _now_.

"Keith calm down, Lance needs to rest alright. And we need to as well so let it go. We'll talk more later." Shiro said happy to get some rest and take a shower. Keith grumbled something and stalked off.

"I-I'll be in my quarters, I shall take my leave" Allura said shakily as she stood up, as she passed Lance she patted Pidge's head and gave Lance a peck on the forelock and then left the followed after but not before repeating the same ritual as Allura had.

"Pidge you to get off" hunk said as he hovered near the two a hint of tired amusement in his voice.

"Fight me" Pidge mumbled.

"Pidgeeeee come on" Hunk repeated.

"If you think I'm getting off this comfortable as fuck tree then you can fuck off" Pidge mumbled angrily as she glared at Hunk but she just kinda looked like a mad squirrel.

"Then I guess you can take a shower with me" Lance said as his wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yuck" said Pidge as she smiled finally dislocating herself from her favorite "tree". She kissed him on the cheek and then ran out of the room. Shiro left next after squeezing Lance's shoulder. All who were left were Hunk and Lance.

"Buddy I'm not gonna push you for answers but you know that their going to find out somehow." Hunk said obviously exhausted.

"I-I know buddy I'll tell them,Just give me some time. Please?" Lance said looking up at Hunk.

"Alright, now do you need me to carry you to the showers or can you walk?"

"Oh Hunkalious please carry me" Lance said leaning back and putting his wrist on his forehead for dramatic flare. Hunk chuckled and then picked him up bridal style before heading in the direction of the showers.

*Sorry it's short, Hope you've enjoyed, till next time =) - Moose


	6. Chapter 6 - PRAISE THE MUSH

Chapter Six - PRAISE THE MUSH

Shiro had gotten a great night's rest, hell the whole team had. And after Shiro had dawned a black hoodie and matching sweatpants he started making his way down to the dining room running into Pidge and Keith who were both heading to the bathrooms. He bid them good morning and continued his path excited for Hunk delicious food like honestly how did he make such wonderful food with the weird space ingredients, Hunk was definitely using some type of black magic. But Shiro's train of thought was brought to a abrupt stop as he saw Lance sitting at the dining room table laughing and looking like the happiest he's been in a while. but Lance's smile wasn't what caught his attention it was his forearms, Shiro's eye immediately laid his eyes on Lance's bare forearms seeing the long deep scars that went from Lance's wrist all the way to his elbow. Lance had really gone all out, the thought made shiro nauseous. But it wasn't just the big bold ones that kept Shiro's stare but the other ones, some small and shallow and others long and deep. It was horrifying to say the least. Had Lance done this all while they were in space? The idea made a wave of guilt wash over him, how had he not notice?

Suddenly Shiro felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked towards the source it was Hunk asking him if he was alright.

"Shiro are you alright?, your spacing out". Hunk repeated worriedly.

"Oh Hunk sorry about that I'm fine, just thinking about something" Shiro said his eyes glancing over to Lance. Hunk nodded and asked him to sit down as breakfast was going to be ready soon. Shiro sat next to Lance who was curled in his seat trying to hide his forearms as best he could. It looked like Lance was trying to hide the fact that he was uncomfortable with anyone seeing his scars, although he did a horrible job of it.

"Want my hoodie?" Shiro asked softly.

"W-what me? I-I why do you ask? No I mean do I look cold?" Lance said quickly his words jumbled. Shiro chuckled softly which made Lance's face blush, all Shiro could think of was how cute he looked.

"You looked uncomfortable, I just thought a sweater would be easier to hide your arms in, that T-Shirt ain't really hiding much" Shiro said again with a soft voice.

"T-Thank you, a hoodie would really be n-nice". Lance said looking down. Shiro quickly pulled off his hoodie carefully handing it to Lance who Immediately pulled it on. Shiro couldn't believe it Lance must have gotten a _lot_ thinner because as soon as he put on Shiro's sweater, he was comically engulfed by the fabric almost looking like a child in it. Shiro chuckled again as Lance pulled his legs to his chest his face now the only thing showing.

"Lance you look like a ball of mush with a face" Pidge said sliding into her seat across from Lance.

"Yeah, do you even have limbs anymore? Cause if we just had a moving sweatshirt with a face that would be awesome". Keith said a small smile on his face.

"PRAISE THE MUSH WITH A FACE" Lance chanted eventually getting Pidge and Keith to join him, who then got Shiro to join. And when Allura and Coran entered the room they too also succumbed to the chanting.

Hunk walked in on everyone chanting "PRAISE THE MUSH FACE" and immediately turned around deciding he was too tired to deal with this shit.

Sorry for the short chapter guys, I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to on it but please enjoy. And happy fourth of july! =) - moose


	7. Chapter 7 - Disappearing

Chapter Seven - Disappearing

To say Hunk was pissed was a _very_ correct assumption. After breakfast Shiro had the team use the mind-meld crowns, and Keith had the audacity to try and push Lance for answers. Causing Lance to run off.

"Keith what the absolute fuck!" Pidge screamed.

"WE DESERVE ANSWERS!" Keith screamed back. Pidge and Keith were now tackling each other, Pidge giving Keith some well-deserved face shots. Hunk eventually pulled them apart slightly enjoying Pidge beating him up. They looked like deranged cats the way Hunk was holding them which was by their collars. Hunk put the two nimrods in Shiro's care and then left to find Lance.

Lance ran as fast as he could out of that training room, the way Keith pushed him for answers oh god it reminded Lance of _**him**_. Before Lance knew it he was in his room, it looked like nothing had been touched thank god and he immediately went into the bathroom. He found what he was looking for quite quickly, he closed the door and was about to cut into his forearm but stopped himself. Oh god how dumb was he, that would be the first place they would check duh. So he slowly lifted up Shiro's sweater which he thankfully was allowed to keep on, and he slowly made a small cut on his stomach blood flowing out quickly. He did more and more and more until he heard a knock on his door, he let the sweater fall down covering him was again and put the blade in the front pocket of the hoodie and just as he did that Hunk came in not bothering to knock twice.

"H-hey buddy". Lance said nervously.

"Lance lift up your sleeves please" Hunk a bit of venom in his voice. Lance slowly did, thanking himself for not going through with his original idea. Hunk checked his arms, then his thighs. He then pulled Lance into a big hug.

"I'm so happy you weren't cutting I was so damn worried man. I saw what Keith did and he reminded you of _**him**_ didn't he". Lance nodded not trusting his voice.

" _ **He**_ can't hurt you anymore neither of them can." Hunk said reasurrily.

"T-thank you H-hunk" Lance said tears forming.

"Let's go make some space coca and sit in the lounge"

"No I-I should train, Ya know gotta-gotta stay use-useful to the team". Lance said much to Hunk's surprise and dismay.

"Oh okay then I'll train with you" Hunk said a smile on his face.

"I-I would um rather do it by myself, I-I'm uh sorry" Lance said shaikly running out of his room.

TBC…..

I hope you've enjoyed, sorry it's short I've got work but expect more tomorrow. Have a great day! =) -Moose


	8. Memories Are Better Left Forgotten

Chapter Eight - Memories are better left forgotten

Pidge still wanted to claw Keith's eyeballs out, I mean who wouldn't?! He tried to force Lance to talk with the Mind-meld crown thingies. But Pidge got where Keith was coming from, she wanted answers too but she knew forcing Lance wasn't a good idea at all, especially with his current mental state. After Shiro had put a end to their fight he brought them to the lounge. Pidge was leaning against Shiro on the couch while Keith was on the other side of him. They may have wanted to kill each other but goddamn it if Shiro was the best pillow ever. Pidge was letting her thoughts wander, in the garrison she thought that Lance was always looking a little sad but she didn't think too much of it. But then Pidge remembered Alex.

"Oh fuck sticks" Pidge said angrily.

"Pidge langue, and no more fighting Keith" Shiro reprimanded looking at her sudden face of anger.

"Pidge are you still mad? Do I need to apologize again?" Keith said his eyes downcasted.

"No I'm..I'm not mad at you Keith I just remembered something about Lance and now I know how much of a asshole I truly am" She said the words with such hatred it made shivers go down Keith's spine.

"Woah Pidge what's wrong?" Shiro said caringly as Pidge got off the couch and started pacing around.

"Oh god me and Keith cracking jokes and everybody yelling at him, god fucking damn it we're no better than fucking Alex!" Pidge basically screamed.

"Wait who's Alex what?" Keith said looking confused as hell. Suddenly a voice came from the door and everyone snapped their heads to the source.

"We're not as bad as Alex Pidge". Hunk stated.

"Uh yeah we fucking are Hunk!, We made fun of Lance and we yelled at him! We're just as bad". Pidge yelled her voice cracking near the end.

"Yeah we may have been some real asshats but we will never ever become as bad as him". Hunk said his voice cold.

"But..but what if Hunk? What if?" Pidge croaked out her voice turning into strangled cries. Hunk walked over and enveloped her into a big hug, slowly rubbing circles on her back as she cried.

"I'm sorry but who the hell is Alex" questioned Keith.

Suddenly the sound of breaking glass filled the room making everyone look to where it came from only to see the sight of Lance with silent tears running down his face with broken glass and water around his feet.

"W-why are you talking about Him" Lance quietly spoke. But the sadness and fear in his words echoed in the large room.

TBC...


	9. It's Not Good To Be Stuck In The Past

Chapter Ten - It's not good to be stuck in the past

*Note* If all words are in Italics it's a flashback*

Suddenly memories were flooding Lance's brain, why had they been talking about Alex? Do they know? Oh god oh god. Lance fell to knees on the same spot of where the glass had been dropped. The glass embedding itself in his knees didn't even register with his mind as he was forcefully thrown into a flashback.

Lance had just gotten back from hanging out with Hunk and Pidge. As he walked into his dorm room he was surprised to see his boyfriend there but it was a happy surprise, that is until Lance saw the angry look on his lover's face.

"Hey A-Alex" Lance said with a bright smile. The person in question didn't seem to share the same mood.

"Where the fuck have you been" Alex spat out, not caring about Lance's flinching.

"I-I um" As Lance was stammering Alex walked over grabbing Lance's collar with his hands.

"Do not make me fucking repeat myself". Lance gulped.

"I was with Hunk an-and Pidge".

"Ugh the tranny and the pig? Disgusting" Alex's words were dripping with hatred.

"P-please don't be r-rude" Lance said quietly. Suddenly Lance was slammed against the wall, and then it happens again and again and again. Because of the ringing in his ears he didn't hear the door open and he barely had time to register Alex's lips on his. A conversation blurred by Lance, he remembered Hunk? Maybe, he couldn't remember the ringing was too long. Lance would have cried if he wasn't already when he heard the door click close and Alex was still holding him, hitting him harder.

The next day Lance couldn't bear to say his bruises were because of Hunk.

TBC….

Sorry it's so short, I'll see you tomorrow, Have a great day.


	10. Chapter 11 - Uh Oh

Chapter 11 - Uh Oh

Everybody was terrified, Lance was clearly having a panic attack but the scary part was he was on broken glass, he was laying on the ground glass embedding itself in every part of him blood mixing with the water.

"Shiro grab him, try to calm him down. We can't put him in a cryo-pod in that state" Hunk said quickly running into the kitchen. Shiro carefully picked lance up, wiping off as much glass as he could before he sat down on the couch. Hunk came back from the kitchen with rags, having Pidge and Keith to help him clean the mess up. While they did that Shiro tried to get Lance to snap out of whatever nightmare he was stuck in.

" _Lance why do you make me hurt you? Alex said as he patched up Lance up._

" _I-I'm sorry, I'll t-try to get better" Lance replied as he tried his best to wipe his tears. Alex having placed the last bandage slowly got off his knees while using his thumb to gently wipe Lance's tears away and kissing Lance's forehead._

" _Clean yourself up some more, I'll be waiting for you". Alex said as the bathroom door slowly clicked close. Lance got off the toilet seat standing in front of the mirror he checked his face. He had a large bruise on his cheek which Alex had covered up with a bandage, and he had a couple other cuts but that was really it..for his face at least. Lance sighed tiredly as his open a cabinet, he traced the top of it finding a piece of tape covering a small piece of silver. He took it out and slowly his pant leg. As he was completing his dark habit there was a sudden banging on the door._

" _Lance! Lance talk to me!" wait that didn't sound like Alex that sounded like..Shiro? Why would Shiro? Suddenly Lance remembered he walked in on them they were talking about Alex, this wasn't real this was..Fake!?_

Suddenly Lance jolted alive in Shiro's arms his eyes fluttering open as he took in ragged and uneven breaths.

"Woah steady breath in through the nose for five seconds out the mouth for eight, you're alright buddy it's okay". Came Shiro's calm voice. Lance eventually calmed down relaxing into Shiro's hands which were on his back and on his stomach.. Wait not his stomach the bleeding hadn't stopped yet!.

"Lance why is your stomach wet" Shiro asked as he began to lift up Lance's(it's actually Shiro's) hoodie.

TBC…

Hey guys just wanted to say Monday will most likely be my last day of posting as I have to leave for a trip. I'll try to not leave you guys on a cliffhanger. Have a great day =) - Moose


	11. Chapter 11 - Lance is Screwed

Chapter Twelve - Lance is screwed

Lance quickly pulled the sweater down, stopping anyone from seeing anything.

"I-It's probably wet from the g-glass". Lance said quickly.

"Oh alright, that makes sense". Shiro responded softly.

"Let's get you to the Med-Bay, we don't know how far that glass went in". Hunk said worriedly. Shiro slowly got up, him and Hunk leaving with Lance while Keith and Pidge continued cleaning.

When Shiro and Hunk got there, they asked coran to set up a pod. As he did that Hunk filled him in on that while Shiro talked to Lance.

"You gotta change into the Cryo-Suit" Shiro said a little shaken up from Lance's episode.

"O-oh alright, um c-could you sta-stand in-in front of the door?, P-please?" Lance said so soft Shiro almost didn't hear him.

"Oh..Of course" Shiro replied a award-winning smile on his face. Lance sighed and nodded giving his own weak smile in return before going into the small changing room. Just as Lance was finished getting dressed the pod was ready and it seemed Lance was hesitant which worried the others as he was usually fine with the pods, and when questioned about his hesitation he just said he was fine. They decided to leave it and put him into the pod. After he was settled Coran went over to the pad which showed what injuries that were being healed.

"Oh God"

"Coran what's wrong, Is there something wrong with the machine?"

"Do we need to get him out of there?"

"No nothing like that paladins just..just look at this". Coran said as he typed something out on the pad, which brought out a small hologram of Lance, showing _all_ of his injuries. Gasps came from the other two.

Lance could hear the pod hiss open, he felt himself falling and he felt himself being caught and picked up. He slowly opened his eyes only to see Hunk with Shiro's sweater in his hands, the sweater inside out. Hunk was picking at the dried blood. Suddenly Hunk's head snapped up his eyes meeting with Lances.

"How Could You?".

TBC…

Hey Guys this might be the last chapter for awhile as I'm going to be on my trip. Have a great day =) - Moose


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As Hunk waited for Lance to get out he was struck with disbelief. He couldn't believe it, he had questioned Lance on his habits just this morning and the Cuban had lied straight to his face. Hunk felt guilt and anger but most of all he felt sick…sick from all the past memories that flooded back when he read the report. Memories he would much rather forget. But it seemed his mind ignored his desperate pleas.

 _Lance sat on the edge of an old abandoned building his legs dangerously hanging over side. His back turned and face shielded from Hunks gaze._

" _L-Lance buddy, what are you doing?" Hunk said cautiously as to not startle the boy off his perch. Lance heaved a sad dry laugh at the question._

" _I saw Alex today" Hunk froze remembering what happened months ago_

" _He acted like nothing happened, tried to kiss me again, course I refused, Then he beat the shit out of me. Said it was my fault."._

 _Lance said quietly getting another cigarette out._

" _Although he said some pretty persuasive things when he was beating me."_

" _W-what did he say Lance?" Hunk said fearing the worst._

" _that I should kill myself". Lance said those words with no emotion, like he just told Hunk something trivial._

 _As he turned his head Lance revealed a multitude of large bandages and cuts on his face. the white bandages a stark contrast on his mocha skin._

" _Mama wasn't home she didn't see, but she's probably freaking over me right now"_

" _Lance you don't want to do this, I mean you have so much to lose. You have a loving friends a-a loving fam-fam.." Hunk gulped realizing what he was about to say._

" _Fucking say it Hunk_ _ **say it**_ " _Lance practically growled his eyes glaring holes through Hunk._

" _B-Buddy I'm so sor-" Hunk stuttered out only to be interrupted by Lance._

" _I'm sorry buddy but I'm done". We both know I'm worthless I mean hell! my own fucking_ _ **father**_ _knew I was a worthless piece of shit!". Lance croaked putting out his cigarette as he stood on the ledge. He held out his arms forming a T with his body as he turned around facing Hunk._

" _And as you know Father knows best" Lance said with a sick twisted smile on his face and he fell backwards off the ledge. Hunk couldn't even get his legs to move to stop that sickening crash. All he could do was fall down to his knees as his stomach purged itself._

 _TBC…._


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

"It's not what you-I mean- the glass- I uh um"

"Don't fucking lie Lance" _._ Everyone was startled when they heard Hunk's crude language _._

"Hunk I-I mean it! I mean it could've been the-the glass. Y-Yeah it was the glass" lance said desperately trying to help his case.

"I didn't know glass shards could make deep straight lines all over your stomach" Hunk growled angrily. Lance flinched and started cowering in on himself, his old habits reappearing. Hunk felt pangs of guilt at the sight.

"We're doing a mind-meld and your showing them everything Lance and I mean _**everything**_ ".

"nonononononono Hunk don't do this please don't do this to me they'll know about him an-and about how weak I was and how oh god why why whywhwhwywh" Lance mouthed off quickly his voice desperate and scared. It took all of Hunk's strength to not cry and to stay strong.

"Hunk this might be a bit too harsh" Shiro intervened.

"we can't trust him Shiro, I..I know it... for a fact" Lance ducked his head at the undeniable truth in his friend's words.

As Hunk talked to Coran and Shiro, Lance's mind was going a mile a minute. His mind was looking at possible horrible outcomes while also finding the time to berate Lance.

*what kind of idiot can't even kill themselves correctly, god I'm a piece of shit, Dad was right beating me was a good thing. After all it's all I'm good for. Couldn't even be a good house wife like Alex wanted, agrh! Why am I such a waste of fucking space.*

"Lance?"

Lance was suddenly ripped from his thoughts by Shiro, who was giving him worried a worried look. Lance didn't realize he had been mumbling out loud again.

"oh-oh! I'm sorry Shiro I musta spaced out I'm sorry."

"It's alright Lance no need to apologize".

"oh sorry". After a few seconds of discomfort Shiro spoke up again.

" your probably tired, right? How bout we go back to your room".

"oh okay sure, that-that sounds really nice actually". Lance was actually tired and was so happy they were going to leave him alone but his happy little thoughts of solitude were again obstructed by Shiro. Who had thrown his black hoodie at Lance.

"oh my gosh! I'm sorry Lance I thought your were looking"

"It's fine, no need to overreact Shiro" lance said as he pulled it on.

They quickly started the trek to Lance's room, it was interesting walk as the air was somehow filled with awkwardness, discomfort and sadness. Not even Keith's favourite knife could cut through it. But soon they had reached Lance's room.

Lance opened the door and was horrified as he saw what was there. Keith was preparing to read out loud as he held a note as pidge sat on Lance's bed listening. It seemed they were just starting. Shiro moved to stop them but lance wouldn't let him, Lance knew it was time they all knew what he wrote.

Keith started reading.

TBC….


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

" _ **Dear Voltron, As you read this I am most likely dead. Please deliver these follow messages to whom it concerns."**_

 _ **Dear Princess, you are such a amazing and beautiful person, inside and out. Tragedy befallen you and yet you prevailed. I'm sorry I was such a bother.**_

 _ **Dear Coran, you were my favorite space uncle. You reminded me so much of my family, and for that I thank you. Don't cry for me please, I'm easy to forget.**_

 _ **Dear Shiro,**_

 _ **You were a great leader and a even better role model. I have no doubt in my mind that you will lead Voltron to victory.**_ As Keith read on Shiro looked at Lance with a gaze of deep sadness.

 _ **Dear Pidgin,**_

 _ **You are by far the smartest bird I have ever met, you reminded me a lot of my sister. I know you'll find your family. I love you.**_ As Keith finished Pidge was already crying harder.

 _ **Dear Keith,**_ Keith's voice started to break

 _ **I'm sorry for the way I picked fights with you, it was petty and immature of me. Your actual a nice guy but I still hate that mullet. Never forget we're always here for you emo boi, we're your space family.**_

 _ **Dear Hunk,**_

 _ **I hope 100 is my lucky number.**_ The trio didn't know what it meant.

 _ **I am sorry for being such a worthless piece of shit, I was not worthy enough of the title blue paladin. I hope Blue finally gets the amazing pilot she deserves.**_

 _ **Goodbye, I'm sorry.**_

"Didn't know you guys were looking for new reading material" Lance said sarcastically as he entered the room. Both Pidge and Keith jerked their heads only now aware of his presence. Both of their eyes were puffy and red.

"L-Lance We'r-"

"get out"

"But Lan-"

"I said get the _fuck_ out"

Keith kept pushing, he had never truly seen Lance mad before. And o how he would soon wish it stayed like that.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"I'm not leaving" Keith said stubbornly.

"Keith I swear to fucking god I want you out of my room"

"no"

"it wasn't a fucking question"

"I can't leave" and right as Lance registered Keith's words he bursted out laughing, startlingly everyone in the room.

"hahahhah oh my god Keith, I'm not a fucking bomb, hhahha holy shit I'm not gonna kill myself you emo fucknugget"

Keith looked very offended, Pidge was torn between laughing or being concerned. And Shiro just looked confused.

"Aw man y'all really crack me up, anyways bye nerds" Lance said before abruptly turning around and leaving. Everyone being too dumbfounded to stop him.

TBC….

Hey guys sorry for the break. I'm still on my trip and only now have acces to a pc. I made some more chapters and a one-shot. hope you enjoy - Moose


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen - Papa

Lance immediately regretted everything he just did as he walked out of his room. His mind berated him endlessly as he let his legs take him anywhere. Before Lance knew it he was outside the observatory. He walked in cautiously and let out a relieved sigh once he saw the room was empty. He promptly sat down and let his mind wander deep into his memories.

 _Lance woke up to blinding lights and a heavy smell of chemicals. He tried to sit up but found he couldn't, with a groan he finally opened his eyes. As Lance's eyes adjusted he made out the form of his crying mother lying beside him, with a numb looking hunk sitting in the corner._

" _h-hi mama" Lance managed to croak from his sore throat._

" _Oh Mijo!" she grasped Lance's hand "why-why-why would you do this? Oh Mijo I'm so sorry I failed as a mother!" she ranted before she buried her face into the bed. Lance moved his hand wincing from the pain to his mother's head and started rubbing soothing circles. Mimicking calmness he answered his mother._

" _oh mama it's not your fault.. it's me not you" Lance laughed internally at how this sounded like a bad break up line._

 _Lance's sister came in and completely avoided him, not even looking him in the eyes she whisked their mother away leaving him alone with hunk._

" _Guess 3 isn't your lucky number huh" a voice from the corner said startling Lance. He whipped his head feeling his mistakes seconds later. He saw hunk staring blankly at him._

" _heh I guess" Lance said nervously, albeit relived hunk only said 3._

" _your hurting your family lance"_

" _Yeah no shit Hunk" lance was met with a heavy sigh._

" _we just wanna help, why can't you see that"_

" _what do you want me to say hunk!? I'm sorry?! Why can't you guys just let me die!?"_

 _Hunk was taken aback this was the first time Lance was hostile after one of his attempts. Lance's eyes widen and he quickly curled upon himself ignoring the pain and forced his tears to go away._

 _Hunk walked over and tried to make him lay flat as to not aggravate his wounds. But lance wouldn't budge, hunk gave up with a sigh and sat down in Mrs. McClain's seat. They sat in silence until lance mumbled something that Hunk wished he never heard._

" _ **I wish papa succeed"**_


	17. Chapter 17

" _ **I wish Papa succeeded"**_

 _Lance regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth._

" _How fucking_ _ **dare**_ _you say that!" Hunk screamed, tears running down his face. He ignored Lance's flinches._

" _He tried to_ _ **kill**_ _you lance! He abused you and-and you...you wish he did it?'_

 _Lance looked away numbly he shouldn't have let it slip, damn was he good at making mistakes. Lance tried to smile sweetly hoping it wasn't looking like a grimace and spoke softly._

" _I meant nothing by it Hunk, please calm down honey'' he said as he gently put his palm over hunk's clenched fist._

" _How can you say that? You try to kill yourself one moment and then the next you..you smile prettily and talk soft as if your fine?" Hunk said as he clasped Lance's hand trying not to disturb the multitude of wires and IV's ._

" _ **why?**_ "

Lance sat on the cold floor of the observatory and just breathed, enjoying his minds blankness before it threw him into another memory.

" _You know I love you right?"_

 _the question was abrupt, he and Alex had just gotten back from a party. Lance had been worried has he had noticed his boyfriend's discomfort near the end, which had caused them to leave early._

" _Of course silly, what kind of question is that?"_

" _The why do you keep looking at other guys?!" Alex said his voice raised and posture tense._

" _W-what do you mean? I haven't-I never" suddenly Lance was pinned on the wall, his boyfriend's arm pushed against his chest._

" _ **Don't Fucking Lie Lance**_ " _Alex hissed out_

" _I-I'm not, Alex I swear I-I wasn't looking at anyone other than you" Lance spewed out his mouth beginning to feel like cotton._

 _Alex didn't believe Lance._

Lance let out a shaky breath, his mind jumping to what happened the next day.

" _Hey Lance why are you wearing sunglasses? We're inside" Pidge asked. Lance gulped, last night Alex gave him a black eye._

" _I-I had an e-eye appointment, so m-my eyes are really s-sensitive to light so they told me t-to wear s-sunglasses". Lance stammered out nervously._

" _Oh thats makes sense" Hunk said overhearing. Fortunately for Lance the subject was dropped._

 _Later that night he saw alex again, Lance flinched when he saw him._

" _Hey Baby"_

 _Alex said happily as if nothing had happened. Lance chuckled internally, Alex looked so beautiful with his golden hair and blue eyes, oh god and those freckles. He really looks like he could do no harm, little did they know._

" _Hey Sweetie" Lance said looking up from his vegetable cutting. Alex came and hugged him from behind, resting his chin in the crook between Lance's neck and shoulder._

" _Mmh it smells delish, whatcha making?"_

" _Teriyaki chicken stir fry, it's a new recipe I've been wanting to try out"._

The memory faded away and Lance chuckled, they really were so domestic. If you looked at them like that you could never imagine Lance on the floor bleeding with Alex on top of him his knuckles bloodied.

Lance heard the observatory's door open but made no reaction as the intruder sat down beside him. He didn't even look at them, he just curled up on himself. But as soon as those words came out their mouth he immediately turned his head.

" **I'm Sorry** "


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Keith stood in Lance's room dumbfounded, what had just happened? First was insulting him and then he was laughing? And now he's gone?

"What the fuck was that" Pidge said voicing everyone's thoughts at the moment.

"Pidge language" Shiro scolded half-heartedly.

"I'm gonna go find Lance" Keith mumbled while Shiro and Pidge argued about her potty-mouth.

Keith wanted to help Lance and be there for him but how? Everything is just confusing. Like what just happened in Lance's room, Lance had totally jumped to conclusions!. I wanted to talk to him and so I wasn't leaving but I probably could have communicated that better. Now where would Lance be? If he wants to be alone than the observatory would be the right guess.

Keith slowly made his way down to the observatory, his mind cluttered with thoughts. Before he realized it he was already there. When he walked in he heard Lance chuckle but other than that Lance didn't acknowledge him at all which for some reason stung. Keith sat down beside him and before Keith could stop the words they had already come out.

" **I'm Sorry"**

Keith didn't expect Lance's response.


	19. Apology

Apology

I am so incredibly sorry for the horrendous wait, school has been killing me. I'll hopefully be updating more often. You can expect longer chapters. Next update should soon follow this announcement. Again so sorry, feel free to hate me.


	20. Chapter 19- Sorry doesnt cut it

Chapter Nineteen - Sorry doesn't fix it

" _I'm sorry baby, it won't happen again"_

 _Those words flowed like honey from his tongue and Lance gulped it up_

 _Every. Single. Fucking. Time._

 _Honestly he was amazed by his stupidity because he_ _ **knew**_ _Alex was lying, he_ _ **knew**_ _Alex was going to beat him again and again and_ _ **again.**_ _But Lance always said it was fine, always forgave that sweet face and soft voice. Even though he knew it was all_ _ **fake**_ _._

 _He knew it was fake with dad too, but atleast that bastard hadn't tried to offer up some shit apology. Lance was angry, he was mad at Alex, at Dad but mostly himself. He really had no-one else to blame. He was the cause of it, all of it. Alex and Dad..well they just treated him as they should have like trash. That's what he was after all. That settled it, He would fix himself make himself better, he had to. There was no way Lance was going to hold back the team anymore. If he couldn't be fixed then he'd act like he was._

Lance stood up his sore muscles protesting, and turned to Keith.

"You don't have to apologize Keith, it was my fault" Lance said, his face cracked into a big smile. Keith was dumbfounded.

"What?"

"I really shouldn't have lashed out on you guys, you all were just trying to help."

"B-but wait wh-" Keith was cut off by Lance hugging him.

"Let's go back to the others, I wanna talk to you all".

"O-okay Lance" Keith mumbled still totally confused. Lance let go and started leaving, Keith just quietly followed.


	21. Chapter 20 Times Are A Changing

Chapter 20- Times are a changing

Keith was pretty sure he just got whiplash from how quickly Lance's mood changed. First he was pissy and mean for no reason! And now he's completely fine and smiling? Keith knew he could be a bit thick sometimes but it didn't _seem_ like there was any things he was missing.. Or was there?

Keith wasn't the only one questioning things as Lance had some pretty big questions too. He wasn't sure _how_ he was going to do this but he knew he _had_ to. Because there was no way in hell Hunk would let him off scott free. Lance had to somehow figure out how to show everybody that he wasn't some fragile painting or charity case. He needed their trust and it looked like he was going to have to share some things if he wanted to get it.

Before either of them knew it they were already at the lounge where the others were already gathered. Most likely sharing sharing what had happened in my room Lance bitterly thought.

"Hey Lance" Hunk said his voice flat and hurt.

"Oh hi Hunk" Lance mumbled with his fake smile but Hunk's glare just turned it into a thin line.

"Did you two fix everything up?" Shiro asked hopefully, knowing that they most likely didn't.

"Well I don- "Yup we sure did!" Lance chirped effectively cutting Keith off(which Keith thought was _quite_ rude).

"Oh that's um really surprising actually."

"Lance Keith, I think you too should both take a seat." Allura croaked, she still wouldn't look Lance in the eyes. After Lance and Keith had taken their seats, Pidge immediately clinged on to Lance like the marsupial she was. Everything was tense and quiet until Allura spoke again.

"Lance it's time we talked, especially about what recently occured." Allura said as commanding as she could, it didn't do much with glassed over eyes though.

"Cut the crap Allura, he knows" Hunk spit out bitterly, he wasn't dealing with Lance's bull this time not again. Everyone else was surprised at Hunk's behaviour but knew they had no right to call him out on it.

"All right I'll tell you everything, but _no_ and i mean _none_ of that mind melding shit alright I refuse" Lance voiced with confidence that surprised even him. Everyone nodded their agreement and Lance continued.

TBC..

Guys I am so sorry, you poor dumplings should not have to deal with my inability to not follow deadlines. A lot of stuff happened, including moving schools, broken bones, etc. So now I should be on a more consistent schedule. If you guys have any questions, ideas, prompts or just wanna talk my inbox is always open. Catch y'all later dumplings. - Mitch


	22. Chapter 21 Therapy Time Bitches

Chapter 21 - Therapy Time Bitches

Lance took a deep breath, he knew he had to do this even if he thought he couldn't. Lance took a gulp and shakily started talking.

"I-I'm guessing y-you guys already know that i was a-abused" the group gulped.

"Lance you don't have to do this if you don't want to" Shiro worriedly chimed in.

"N-no I have to, I gotta earn your guys trust back" Lance mumbled, only Pidge managed to hear him.

"Oh Lance, you have our trust we're just... worried about you" Pidge said, voice muffled slightly by Lance's(Shiro's) sweater. The others chimed in agreement, all expect Hunk.

Hunk just left.

Everyone was shocked he was usually so nice, so caring! But after Lance's attempt something changed. Hell Hunk barely looked at Lance now, not like how Allura couldn't look at Lance because of guilt. But because.. Well nobody knew why, in fact Hunk was just another person that they had added on the list of people to worry about. Lance sighed heavily and continued.

"Hunk probably didn't want to hear what i was gonna say next." Lance said awkwardly.

"Why wouldn't he? Your sharing important information here" Coran chirped.

"Well, Hunk already knows all of it, heck he was there for my first attempt" Lance replied without thinking, immediately cursing his stupid mouth.

"What! Then why didn't he tell us!" Keith shouted.

"Cause it was none of your business mullet!" Lance shouted back.

"We have the right to know if one of our teammates is a harm to themselves or others!" Keith bit back, he was standing by this point and looking very threatening. Lance recoiled at this slowly pushing himself further into the couch. None of them noticed when Hunk came back in.

"What the hell Keith!" Pidge hissed putting herself in between Lance and Keith.

"What! I didn't say anything wrong" Keith hissed just as venomously back. Shiro was just about to get up and pull them apart before any real fighting started when...

"Ahem, may I have your attention please" Hunk said blandly. Everyone looked to him, then down to what Hunk was holding.

"Oh hell no"

TBC


	23. Notice

Hey Guys Moose here,

Just wanted to let you know that the story may take a short hiatus, I found out today my brother has died. The possibitly of a hiatus is somewhat likely but what might actually become more angst and less comfort and may have a sadder ending than planned as i am using my writing as therapy. I hope to have another chapter for you guys later today.

Love all you dumplings

-Moose


	24. Chapter 22 Water Verus Rock

Chapter 22 - Stone Versus Water

"Oh hell no"

"Lance you have to" Hunk insisted. Lance was livid, this was his only term, his only fucking one and here Hunk was defying it. Lance recoiled instantly, trying to push himself further into the couch.

"No" came Lance's muffled reply.

"You act like you have a choice" Hunk voiced blandly.

"Hunk!"

"What the Fuck"

"Hunk stop this"

"We can't force him!" came the immediate replies from the crew. Lance just raised his hand to silence the crew's indignant replies

Hunk didn't move, he just stood there with the crowns in his arms. Lance sighed, realizing that Hunk wasn't going to change his mind he stood and walked over. Lance gently took one of the crowns and glared Hunk in the face.

"Let's do this shit"

Longer chapters to come! Thank you guys for all your support! Hiatus officially over, love all you little dumplings =D -Moose


	25. Chapter 23- Why did nobody help?

Chapter 23 - Why did no one help?

 _Lance was very happy! His sisters were dressing him up and he looked so pretty! He had a pearl necklace on and a beautiful blue dress. He ran to go show his momma._

" _Oh honey you look so cute" she said but then they heard the car door slam shut. Momma wasn't happy anymore and Lance was confused._

" _Lance go take all of that off now! Now Lance hurry!"_

 _Lance rushed to the bathroom taking everything off as fast as he could. He was hurriedly trying to scrub makeup off his face as the bathroom door opened._

" _What the fuck is this?"_

" _H-hi Papa" Lance was shaking. The man walked over and grabbed Lance by his shoulders._

" _What the fuck is this?! Why are you dressed up like a fag, boy!?" Lance could smell the liquor on his breath._

" _I"m s-sorry papa, I'm sorry!" Lance whimpered_

" _You will be_ _bitch_ "

 _Lance was six years old when he woke up in a pile of his own blood._

The room was scarily quiet, whether that was from what they just witnessed or because Lance wasn't showing any emotion, he didn't know.

"Why didn't anybody do anything?" Keith asked, his voice low and wavering.

"They had their suspicions, but they had nothing to put against him. He was an _upstanding_ citizen in the town's eyes" Lance replied his voice stale.

"Nothing against him! He was beating you for fucks sake!"

"And he was a cop Keith"

That shut Keith up immediately.

"Now let's try this again, shall we?" Lance asked, a fake smile on his face. The team grimaced and put their crowns back on.

Hope you've all enjoyed! more up soon =D -moose


	26. Chapter 24 - Things are getting better

Chapter 23 - Things are getting better

 _Lance was in pain, his limbs were heavy and his brain was hazy. He tried to open his eyes only to quickly close them again in response to the bright fluorescent lights. He tried again slowly surveying the white room. The air smelt of disinfectant and death._

" _Fuck" he mumbled, a fucking hospital. Which only meant dad went too far again shit. Lance tried to rub his eyes only to be stopped by the hiss of pain as the IVs were tugged. He groaned again, effectively not hearing the door open or seeing the woman come in._

" _Mr. McClain?" questioned the woman, Lance winced her voice too loud. Lance looked at the offender and his stomach dropped, she was a cop._

" _Yes?" he rasped. Lance winced at hearing his own voice, it sounded like he tried to fix his sore throat by eating sand._

" _I'm Officer McCormick and I have some questions to ask you. Do you think your up to answering them?" She asked kindly. Lance liked her she seemed nice. But he was still cautious, Dad could be on the other side of that door waiting like always._

" _Y-Yeah.. Sure" he said softly, his voice slowly returning._

 _The woman pulled up a chair to the bed, her movements slow and cautious. God he hated this when they all treated him like glass._

" _Could you please explain what happened?" She asked._

" _Oh yeah, I guess I musta fallen down the stairs, I am really clumsy, bound to happen sometime" He stated with rehearsed perfection this wasn't the first time, the only difference was that this was a cop not a nurse._

" _Those must have been some sharp stairs son, as sharp as a broken beer bottle" She deflected, immediately picking up on his bullshit. Lance chuckled nervously._

" _Yeah I guess so, but that's what happened ma'am, nothing else" Lance was starting to sweat, Dad could be on the other side of that door just waiting for the moment to pounce._

 _The Officer lightly placed her hands on Lance's, a look of pity flashing across her features as she saw him flinch away._

" _He's not here anymore Lance, He can't hurt you anymore" She said quietly but the words seemed to echo in the room._

" _W-what?" Lance asked confused. Who was gone?_

" _Mr. McClain, your father is currently sitting in a prison cell being charged with several accounts of child abuse and neglect. All we need is for you to tell us what he did to you so we can lock him up for good" She stated hope flickering in her eyes._

 _Lance broke, he couldn't stop the tears and he didn't know if he wanted to. After eight years he was caught, he was finally gone. The Officer gave him some tissues and a cup of water before sitting back down._

" _Hope you got a lot of paper" He chuckled out. The woman smiling as she pulled out a recorder. And then Lance talked, he told her about the beatings, the slurs, the starvation, of when he father locked him in the closet. He even told her about the touches, the druggings, how he couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror afterwards and how he went through several bars of soap but never really ever felt clean. How that man did it again and again with no remorse for eight years. All the while McCormick held his hand, her thumb rubbing small circles on it and gently squeezing at times his voice got too tight to speak. After two hours he was done, he had nothing left to say and his heart felt light and the knot in his stomach seemed to loosen._

 _McCormick turned off the recorder and began packing up her things._

" _Since your still a minor you won't have to testify in court, the tape will be enough" She explained, Lance let out a sigh of relief, he didn't know if he could look at that bastard._

 _McCormick smiled and leaned over kissing the top of Lance's head._

" _Your safe Lance, He can't hurt you anymore" She said with a smile before walking out the door._

 _Lance found the card she left, it had her number and a note telling him to stay strong and to call her if he was ever in trouble. Lance smiled everything seemed to get better._

 _Soon after he started therapy and his meds. The sessions had to be during the school day but luckily he was able to excuse it with doctor appointments as he body was still suffering from his father. He was finally getting better, his family was happy and so was he. He even got into the school him and Hunk were dreaming about for all their childhoods. He even met great people like Pidge. Everything was good._

 _But good things never stay, do they?_

 _TBC…._


End file.
